Fragility
by InspiringLight
Summary: Time. You don't think about it. Nothing bad ever happens to you…right? "We'll always have time, Cody." One startling incident. One innocent life. Sometimes, time is not on your side.
1. There's Always Time

Fragility - Like glass. Even the strongest can break. And every little piece reflects a shattering image that hurts. Even from afar.

**Summary**: Time. You don't think about it. Nothing bad ever happens to you…right? "We'll always have time, Cody." One startling incident. One innocent life. Sometimes, time is not on your side.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Suite Life series or any of its characters.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_The long unmeasured pulse of time moves everything. There is nothing hidden that it cannot bring to light, nothing once known that may not become unknown. Nothing is impossible." - SOPHOCLES, Ajax_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"Hey buddy," Zack called cheerfully as he closed the door behind him.

Cody looked up and stared at his twin warily. "Zack," he said flatly. "What do you want?"

Zack shrugged and patted his shoulder. "What? Can't I come and say hi to my little brother?"

The younger twin scowled. Pointedly looking away, Cody returned to his desk, scribbling loudly on his homework.

"Come on, man. You're not still bitter over that History homework, are you?" Zack arched an eyebrow when Cody began scribbling harder. He rolled his eyes. "Oh, don't give me the silent treatment."

Cody's jaw tightened. His chair turned away slightly from Zack, effectively presenting the older Martin with a view of his twin's back.

"Okay, okay." Zack raised his arms in surrender. "I'm sorry. I didn't _mean_ to drop it off the ship…" He tapped Cody's shoulder tentatively. "The wind blew it away."

Cody scoffed. "You mean that lady blew _you_ away." Dropping his pen, he swiveled to face Zack, a stern frown weaved stubbornly onto his features. His mouth opened, as if seeming to work to find the right words to say. "I still ca-"

Zack lowered his hands and stared at Cody seriously. "I'm sorry."

Cody inhaled loudly and glared at his brother. "Zack, I'm not-"

"I'm sorry." A sad expression took on the older twin's features.

"Zack-"

"I'm _sorry_."

Cody pressed his thumb to his temple with a sigh. "You are impossible." Eyeing his twin out of the corner of his eyes, he felt a faint tug at the corners of his lips.

Zack grinned. "So I'm forgiven?" he asked brightly. "Thanks, Codes." He patted his brother's shoulder warmly before jumping onto Cody's bed. "So where's Woody?"

Cody picked up his pen again. "He was hungry. Went to find some food."

The older Martin nodded absent-mindedly. When he heard the familiar sound of pen against paper again, he looked up from his position to stare at Cody blankly.

"Cody?"

A brief pause and some more scribbling. "Yeah?"

Zack frowned when his brother's back was to him again. Annoyed, he flopped back onto the mattress. "Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?" Distractedly.

Zack took a pillow and covered his face with it. "Stop doing your homework and turn around." His voice was muffled.

Cody paused in his writing. "What? I didn't hear you." He turned to look at Zack when the latter didn't reply. He lifted an eyebrow, amused, when he saw a pillow firmly pressed against his brother's head. "Zack?" Cody got up and tugged the pillow away. Crossing his arms, Cody almost laughed. "You could have suffocated yourself, you know."

"Yeah, whatever." Zack sat up. "Can you not do your homework when we're together? Do it when Bailey's around. Or Woody. Not me."

"Okay?" Cody said slowly, making it more a question than a statement. He sat down beside Zack. "Do you hate homework that much?"

Zack rolled his eyes. "No," he stretched the word out experimentally. He could feel his brother waiting in mild amusement. The older twin laughed. "Okay, fine! Maybe I do." Zack flopped back onto the bed, dropping his arm onto his stomach and tucked the other firmly behind his head. He bit his lip. "I don't know, Cody," he finally said

Cody turned his head questioningly. "Know what?"

"You know…" Zack trailed off. He sighed. "You spend all your time on homework. And Bailey. _And_ paying attention in class. We should go check out some ladies" – noting the expression on his brother's face, Zack backpedalled immediately – "_or_ play some stuff together. Remember those times I completely crushed you in video games?" Wistfully. Zack stared into space for a moment until he caught himself.

He coughed and laughed. "Have a life, dude. I'm worried for your sanity."

Instead of the usual irritation he would have felt, Cody smiled knowingly at his twin. "_Or_ we could just sit down and talk."

Zack pretended to think about it. He nodded slowly as a sly grin stretched across his lips. "We could do that too."

The twins smiled at each other; Zack silently grateful that Cody hadn't mocked him for wanting to spend more time with his brother; and Cody felt a warmth swell contentedly in his heart that his twin had missed him enough to do something about it.

A comfortable silence hung in the air, weaving between the occupants of the room gently. It was moments like this that both siblings held precious to their hearts. Between the constant bickering and disagreements (that they really couldn't help but have), it was this peace and tranquility that showed their brotherhood at its strongest. For once, just closing your eyes and knowing that there's someone beside you. The mere comfort of knowing you're not alone, and accompanied by one whom you know without doubt would never abandon you.

After a moment, Zack broke the silence. "We're docking tomorrow morning right?" He lifted his left arm and uncurled his fingers. He stared absent-mindedly at the back of his palm.

Cody watched the movement of his twin's hand almost cautiously. "Yeap. England."

Excitement gleamed in the older's eyes. "England," he repeated, a bright smile dominating his facial features. "We're so going to have so much fun."

"Mr Moseby-"

"Will most definitely allow us off the ship," Zack cut in, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "He wouldn't even have us on the ship if he could help it."

Cody felt the beginnings of a smile tug at his lips. Zack always wanted to have fun. Cody couldn't remember the amount of times he had been caught up with his brother for causing trouble. The smile quickly faded as he realized something.

Zack must have seen the hesitation in his brother's eyes as his face took on a solemn expression. "You have something on tomorrow?"

"Umm…yeah. With Bailey," Cody said reluctantly. "We're going to stay on the ship."

"Oh." Cody tried to meet his twin's eyes, but Zack had pointedly looked away.

"I'm sorry, Zack. We could always do something before we leave port, right?" He tried to keep his voice upbeat.

"Yeah." Zack nodded, trying to conceal the disappointment that lay heavy in his stomach. Knowing his twin felt guilty, he tried to put on a genuine smile. "It's okay, buddy. I can always get Woody to come along. You know how he is." He laughed, hoping to ease the sudden tension in the air. "We'll both have fun. There's always time for the two of us to hang out another day."

Cody smiled guiltily. "Thanks Zack."

Zack elbowed him playfully. "Anything, buddy."

…

Silence.

Cody watched quietly as his twin slowly closed his eyes, his breathing evening out. He still could feel the tinge of guilt aggravating his mind. Zack was right. They hadn't spent a whole lot of time together since they boarded the S.S. Tipton. And after he met Bailey…Cody had to confess there was a point in his life where he had forgotten Zack. The guilt churned in his gut uncomfortably.

Cody bit his lip. He never did think that Zack would miss him. He guessed that it would hardly matter. His brother had always been the outgoing one. The overconfident, smug, strong – and lazy, he added almost fondly – twin. Cody realized that his brother had always been the one to miss him and not the other way round. _Like the time I went to Math camp. He tried to 'bail' me out of there._

He sighed. He really should spend more time with his brother.

"Heads up!"

Cody looked up, startled, and his face met with a pillow. His eyebrow twitched as his twin laughed.

"Zack," he complained, clutching the pillow hard to his chest before Zack could snatch it back. Two pairs of identical eyes met, one mischievously playful.

Zack grinned. "You know there are more pillows here for me to take, Cody." His hands reached behind him, his fingers curling delicately around the pillow.

"Oh no you're not." Cody shook his head violently. "You won't be the one cleaning the room!"

"Oh yeah?" With one quick _whoosh_ of his hand, Zack whacked the pillow into Cody's, carefully avoiding his head this time.

With one loud exclamation, Cody slapped his brother's pillow away with his own, then methodically pounced on his brother. Both fell to the ground with a loud thud, panting slightly. It slowly escalated into a short wrestling match which had both brothers laughing.

"For someone who only has eyes for his homework, you're pretty good." Zack tumbled on his back and smiled breathlessly at the ceiling.

Cody eyed him out of his peripheral vision. "I don't…" He sucked in a deep breath. "Only have eyes for homework."

Zack nudged his elbow and laughed teasingly. "What? Out of breath already? I take back my words."

Cody sat up and glared half-heartedly at his brother. It had been so long since they just went wild like this. For a moment there, Cody started to miss life back at the hotel. Where it had just been them, and their mum and Mr Moseby and London and Maddie and…everyone.

"Don't worry about it, Codes."

Cody felt something brush his hair. He stared at his twin in surprise. "Zack?"

The older Martin smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through his hair. "There's always time for us hang out one day. Just us. Go do what you want and whenever."

When Cody just stared at him, Zack looked away, embarrassed. "I mean…"

"Yeah, I know." A small smile crept into the younger's features. "We'll always have time," he echoed.

Anyone – Bailey, Woody, London, even Mr Moseby – could keep them busy. But if there was one thing the Martin twins were certain about, it was that there was always plenty of time to catch up.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot." -BEN WILLIS, Cashback_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

This chapter is rather short. But I wanted the beginning to be a slow start. This fic is a small idea that just popped up in my head. So just tell me what you guys **think**. Is this fic worth continuing, or any suggestions?

**Next chapter**: The S.S. Tipton docks at England. For once, Zack is compassionate for one other than himself. A car. A collision. When tears fall and a cry so haunting echoes in his ears, one of the twins learn that time will not always be on their side.

Please review! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. :)


	2. When Time Seems to Stop

Fragility – There is that one moment when the glass meets the ground, the first cracks breaking through the surface. Then it shatters; a silent scream.

**A/N**: Hey guys! Sorry for not updating earlier. School just started (first day of college!) and I couldn't find time to do this. _Excuses, excuses…_ Anyway! Thank you for those who reviewed! :) Replies are at the bottom of the chapter.

I'd like to warn here and now that the characters may be OOC. I have not watched Suite Life on Deck, so I am merely predicting how they would act. So…do tell me where I went wrong. In any case, enjoy the chapter! :D

**Summary**:The S.S. Tipton docks at England. For once, Zack is compassionate for one other than himself. A car. A collision. When tears fall and a cry so haunting echoes in his ears, one of the twins learn that time will not always be on their side.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Suite Life Series nor any of its characters.

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"_Time is always relative... For the terminally ill, six months are a lifetime, and not a very long one. To a three-year-old waiting for Christmas, it's an eternity so distant it's not even worth thinking about." -JOHN SAUL, Midnight Voices_

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"Zack."

Zack froze. He raised his hands slowly.

Not amused. "Turn around."

Zack swallowed nervously. He lowered his head and turned. His eyes meeting a pair of stern ones, he quickly jumped to his defense. "I didn't do anything, Mr Moseby!"

Mr Moseby eyed the young teen critically at the answer. "What didn't you do, Zack?"

Zack opened his mouth and paused. What didn't he do? A sheepish smile crossed his features as he scratched the back of his head. "Uh…Nothing?"

The older man inwardly sighed. Both he and the young Martin had fallen into this cycle too many times. Zack would immediately deny having done something, while he had to be the adult. His lips thinned, though he felt more amused than anger.

"Zack, I'd just like to tell you to _behave_" – Mr Moseby glared at the teen – "when we dock in the afternoon."

Zack started to mouth his protest when Mr Moseby raised his hand authoritatively.

"I will not stop you from getting off the ship," he continued slowly, as if afraid Zack would be unable to grasp his words. "But I expect you to be back by eight tonight since your brother will not be going with you today."

This time, Zack stared at Mr Moseby in disbelief. _By eight? He's got to be kidding me. And what's this about Cody not coming with me?_

"Mr Moseby! You can't do that!" he exclaimed loudly.

Mr Moseby cleared his throat as the people around them turned to stare curiously at them. He smiled graciously at the other passengers and waited patiently until they had turned away. Shifting his attention back to Zack, his stare hardened almost instantaneously. "Zack," he began warningly. "As manager of this ship, I will act as your and the rest of your classmates' guardian for as long as need be. And for that I find it within my responsibility to ensure _you_ do not misbehave while you are under my care."

Zack rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "You never do that to Cody!" he protested.

Mr Moseby shrugged. "Force of habit." He eyed Zack firmly, noting the gleam of defiance in the teenager's eyes. "Your brother is more responsible than you are and you know that, Zack. Besides, the only reason he gets into trouble so often is because you drag him into it."

Zack curled his fingers into a fist as a spark of anger flashed in his eyes. He had never been the ideal child and he knew that. He has always known that, out of the two of them, Cody was the better student, the more likeable one, the nicer one, the forgiving one… The ideal one. He had never hated Cody for that. They were who they were. But damn it if Zack had to go through this…this _lack of faith_ every day, especially in the light of his flaws in comparison to his twin's.

"Fine," he snapped. "I'll be back so soon you won't even know I was gone."

Part of him wanted to say that he wouldn't even leave the ship, but Zack knew that he'd regret it if he did. Ignoring the look of surprise that crossed his 'guardian's' – he mentally scoffed at that – features, Zack turned on his heels and walked off to his cabin. His footsteps rang loudly in the silent hallway. _Good. It's better that way. Who wants to bump into _Zack_ anyway?_ He sneered silently to himself.

What's the point? Everyone would always compare them. Did they ever notice _him_? _Of course they do_, Zack scolded himself. _Who never notices the troublemaker?_ Gosh, Zack was sick of this. He loved his brother dearly, but it could be so frustrating. Cody, his friends, and even his mother are constantly bugging him to be nicer to Cody. Zack ran his hand through his hair and tugged hard, glaring hatefully at the floor.

_Don't they know how hard it is to be _Cody's_ twin?_

One more corner and he would be seven seconds away from his room.

Zack hoped that he wouldn't meet Cody somehow.

_I shouldn't be mad. I shouldn't be mad. I shouldn't be mad._ He repeated the phrase over and over in his mind.

_I shouldn't mad._

…

_I shouldn't be mad at Cody._

Zack rubbed his temple with his forefinger wearily and groaned. _But I want to. _He lowered his gaze to the floor. He wanted to be mad at someone. It wasn't Cody's fault that he was so perfect. It wasn't Cody's fault that others compared them always. It wasn't Cody's fault that Zack was who he was.

And it wasn't fair of Zack to blame Cody for something he didn't do.

Zack glared at the floor. _Stupid – _stupid – _sense of guilt_. His footsteps became increasingly louder as he walked down the hallway to his room. Before he could slip inside the blissful confines of his room, the door across his opened with a _click_.

"Zack."

The said person internally cursed at his luck. Taking a long, calming breath, he tried to plaster a smile on his face as he turned. "Hey, Cody," he said smoothly. He carefully avoided meeting his brother's eye. _Say hi. Be civil. End conversation. Go to your room._

"You're going offshore with Woody, right..." Cody trailed off. He raised an eyebrow curiously when his twin made a point to stare somewhere above his head. "Zack?"

"What?" he muttered gruffly.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm fine," Zack answered, his voice a bit strained. _Be civil. Be civil. He's not the one you're supposed to be angry with._ Zack's gaze traveled to meet Cody's and the annoyance in his stomach fluttered wildly. His eyebrow twitched. Zack realized that, even so, seeing his brother certainly didn't help quell the fire that licked at his heart._ Next part. End conversation._

He sucked in a deep, steadying breath. "Look, I'm just really tired. And I have to pack some stuff for the trip offshore later so…see ya."

Cody stepped forward. "I can help –"

"No!" Zack snapped. Both of them paused at this, Cody surprised and a little hurt at the quick rejection; while Zack mentally kicked himself for having said that. The older Martin cleared his throat loudly. "I mean, you're busy and everything. Wouldn't want to trouble you," he mumbled. _Well, _that_ was pathetic_.

A frown fell into Cody's features. He could see clearly that Zack was irritated. That it was directed at him. Silently debating for a moment whether to push his brother further or to let it go, his thoughts were interrupted when the door behind him opened to reveal Woody.

Woody stared at the twins for a moment. "Am I interrupting something here?"

"Nope. I was just going into my cabin."

Cody turned to Zack and saw with unease that any form of expression had fallen off his complexion. Their eyes met for a moment before Zack tore his gaze away. He turned around and waved to them.

"See you guys later."

Cody stared silently as the door closed behind his brother's back. He turned to Woody. "Something's up, don't you think?"

Woody eyed him in confusion and looked up at the ceiling. He noticeably frowned. "Nothing's up there, Cody. Are you okay?"

Cody paused and wondered how they were even in the same class. Scolding himself for thinking that way, he rolled his eyes and smiled. "Nothing, Woody. I'm going to meet Bailey." He waved and walked off down the hallway, leaving a baffled Woody behind.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[That afternoon]

"Hey, Bailey. Did you see Zack?"

Bailey looked up and smiled at her boyfriend. Jumping lightly to her feet, she walked over to Cody and held onto his arm. "I didn't see him. The ship docked hours ago. Maybe he's…" she trailed off thoughtfully.

Cody nodded slowly. "Perhaps." Taking her hand, he pulled her towards the side of the ship. Both of them leaned on the railings as the cool air brushed their faces smoothly. Cody allowed the peaceful silence to fall over them for a moment.

"I think something's wrong with Zack."

A look of confusion fell into Bailey's features. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Everything was okay yesterday." Cody paused and amended, "Perfect even." Faint traces of worry weaved itself onto his forehead. "But when I saw him this morning…"

Bailey touched Cody's shoulder soothingly. "What happened?" she asked gently.

Cody shrugged carelessly. "Nothing happened, I guess. But he seemed angry at me." He let out a frustrated sigh. "I just don't get him."

Bailey let his words slip though silently. She glanced over at him and noted the lines of worry. She suppressed a sigh. Zack had always been unpredictable. She wasn't surprised that Cody had a hard time understanding him, even if he was Zack's twin.

"I'm sure he's fine. You know how he is. He's never mad for long."

Cody looked doubtful. "You really think so?"

Bailey smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure."

A small smile cracked at the corners of his lips. The doubt cleared. Bailey was right. It wasn't like Zack would remain mad at him forever anyway. They did have their ups and downs. And Cody guessed this fell under the category of 'downs'. Somehow, he didn't know why he was so worried. Zack hadn't yelled at him (and hadn't for a long time. He barely took anything seriously.), nor did he strike up an argument. But Cody just had this bad feeling.

He turned his gaze towards the sea unfocusedly.

_I certainly hope so, Bailey._

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Zack took off down the pavement, his sneakers clacking noisily against the gravel floor. He barely took in his surroundings, only taking care enough to avoid slamming into people. That would be a pretty bad mistake, especially when alone.

He hadn't wanted to take Woody with him.

Tucking his hand into the pocket of his jeans, the other clutching the sling of his bag closer, Zack ambled through the near heavy crowd. He picked up bits of random conversations as he walked pass, all of it bundling into one meaningless bunch of words that didn't seem to end.

"Where is he? He's so late!"

"..know. It tastes so…"

"Yeah!"

"Hey Tim! Over here!"

"Stay close to me!"

"What did I say about you…"

Zack rubbed his forefinger against his temple wearily. Maybe he should have stayed in the ship. He wouldn't have had to deal with this influx of nonsense if he had. He swept his gaze through the area in resignation. Strangers milled around the place, some laughing, some sporting pretty, bright smiles, some staring at what Zack thought to be a map. Everyone seemed so happy.

Except him.

He sighed. Glancing at his watch, he lips curled down in disappointment. 17:42. Not time to head back yet. _Not time to go back to that ship and its perfect passengers._

Annoyance churned angrily at his insides. Zack hadn't forgotten his anger.

_More responsible than you are…_

…_because you drag him into it._

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry for not being perfect," he muttered. He scowled and kicked a loose pebble angrily, venting whatever pent up emotion he could on the rock. He was about to walk away when he heard a small cry, followed by a loud wail.

His head jerked up and the glare fell off his face instantly. _Oh no. _A girl, about the age of seven, clutched at her elbow, where beads of red liquid slipped between her slim fingers. Light, blonde hair framed a childish complexion that had tears streaking down its cheeks. Zack felt a rush of guilt and horror. The pebble must have hit her. Ignoring the whispers that had started around him, he ran quickly to her side.

He bent down before her slowly. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" he asked, his voice hushed and afraid. Mr Moseby was right. He was trouble. He warily looked around her and waited in trepidation for the rush of a panicking adult in the form of her parent, but none came.

The child blinked up at him, deep green eyes glistening with fresh tears. Caution lit up in the pair of orbs and she took a step back away from him. Zack understood this and nodded calmly. He raised his hands in reassurance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He glanced at the pebble and cursed it silently. He saw the girl's confusion and he was quick to explain. "The pebble. It hurt you. I mean, _I_ kicked it. But I didn't mean to, I swear! It just went flying and you got hurt and I didn't think it'd hurt anyone and I…" Zack trailed off stupidly. He sucked in a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

He waited for the girl to start crying or run away – he had never been good with kids – when she smiled, showing him two rows of perfect white teeth, except for the missing one near her upper lip. Unable to help it, he smiled hesitantly. Zack couldn't remember the last time someone offered him such a raw, bright smile. _Cody had._

"Is your arm okay?"

The girl stared at him for a moment then nodded vigorously.

"That's great." Zack looked around again. "Where are your parents?"

The calm expression on the girl immediately cracked as more tears spilled onto her cheeks. She shook her head in distress. Zack took this in slowly, his forehead creasing into a slight frown. He stopped for a moment to think.

"Are you lost?" he guessed.

She nodded.

Why wasn't she speaking? His gaze traveled down her arm and lingered at the two streaks of blood that clung to her skin. His smile dimmed. "Does it hurt?"

The little girl seemed to think about it, then shook her head. Before Zack could react, she reached out her hand and touched his cheek softly, her head tilting to the side curiously. She pressed slightly as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Unable to help himself, Zack let out a soft laugh at the serious expression that donned her childish features.

The green eyes noticeably brightened.

_Okay. So now I'm laughing 'cause a kid poked at my cheek._

Zack realized that it felt…good. Content. It wasn't like the laughs that came out of his pranks, or the hollow ones because of another's joke. He smiled to himself. When her arm fell back to her side, Zack did a quick sweep of the area again before his gaze fell on the little girl again. She looked at him expectantly. Uh oh.

What should he do now?

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[At the meantime]

Cody knew it was stupid to be excited. But he couldn't help it. Homework with Bailey just made things so much more…amazing. He didn't even know how to describe it.

Their arms linked, both of them walked through the Sky Deck, fully intending to head to his cabin to look over some theories that they thought deserved to be discussed deeper. He glanced at his girlfriend out of the corners of his eyes and a small smile played on his lips. Everything was…perfect. _Except for Zack. _At the stray thought, Cody felt his good mood plunge into nothingness.

It wasn't like he spent a great deal of time worrying about his brother. If he had to be honest with himself – though he felt guilty for even acknowledging it – he didn't really think much about Zack in the first place. Sure his twin was always in one trouble or another, but it was normal. It was _Zack_.

But he had the nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen. But what?

Cody shook his head violently. No, no. He was just thinking too much. As usual. Better to look over some stuff that actually makes sense. _Like formulas. And theories. Zack isn't something we can discuss rationally about._ Or logically.

Cody stared at his watch and noted with slight apprehension that it was only 17:54. He made up his mind.

_There's still time. I can spend time with Bailey, then talk to him when he gets back._

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[2 and a half hour later]

Zack smiled cheerfully at Amanda.

"Do you like it?"

Amanda jerked her head up and down happily with an innocent gleam in her eyes. Zack's smile widened. The kid didn't talk much, and it was with shock that she had said 'Amanda' in a timid voice when he kept calling her 'kid'. He held up his ice cream and took a big bite out of it, shivering slightly when the cold melted in his mouth.

Amanda giggled.

Zack pretended to put on a stern expression. His mouth still partly full with ice cream, he tried to say "What are you laughing at, kid?" but failed miserably.

She giggled again.

Zack swallowed and ruffled her hair almost fondly. When he found her parents, he'd miss this kid. She may be a kid, but…he saw a potential friend in her. Someone who saw him for who he was and not as Cody's twin. Zack rubbed the back of his neck dubiously. _Don't think about him, Zack. Just think of now. Think of finding her family._

He had been trying to locate her family for nearly three hours now – plus buying food and water for her, playing some games and carrying her on his back so she had a better view, and teasing her and laughing and smiling and…having fun. A slight ache formed in his chest. This really just sucked, though he wouldn't trade in having had met her for anything.

Zack glanced at his watch. He should have headed back already. But he couldn't leave her. Especially not in the dark. Alone. He pictured her standing in the streets and his mind screamed a complete _no_ at him. He didn't care if Mr Moseby threw him off the ship. The little girl came first.

There was a tug at his hand. "Yeah?"

A pair of dimples greeted him, followed by a finger pointing to the right. Zack followed her excited gaze and arched an eyebrow.

"More ice cream?" he asked in amusement. He slipped his hand through his back pocket for his wallet and grinned affectionately. He mock-saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

As he paid for the ice cream, this time opting not to buy one for himself, he heard someone shout in apparent relief. He turned in curiosity. A man with dark brown hair had run to his side – no, Amanda's – and picked her up in his arms.

"Oh, sweetie. We were searching all over for you!"

Zack frowned at this. How would he know that this man was related to her? He could be some random stranger off the street. The worry disappeared as quickly as it had arisen when his eyes met another pair of brilliant green eyes.

Zack swallowed nervously. "Sir."

The said green eyes narrowed and stared him down carefully. He glanced at his daughter before switching back to Zack. "And who might you be?"

"Uh…" How was he to explain? Cody would know how to. Zack mentally slapped himself. _Stop thinking of him! This is you! Do it your way! Your brother _isn't_ here, so stop relying on him!_

His thoughts were broken when Amanda spoke softly with her father. His cold stare slowly melted as he put her down, though he was careful to hold her hand tightly.

"My daughter says you have been of great help. I'm Wilson." He lowered his head in grateful acknowledgement. "Thank you…Zack?"

"Thank you, Sir. I'm glad we finally found…I mean, that you found us." He laughed uncertainly.

There was a twinkle in the man's eyes. "You are indeed welcome. Do you live around here?"

"No… I'm just a tourist, I guess." At the lifted eyebrows, Zack rubbed at his cheek. "I'm attending a school onboard the S.S. Tipton. And since we stopped here, I thought I'd take a break."

He nodded in understanding. "It is rather late. Should you not head back now? It is not safe for a boy as young as you to be out alone at night."

Zack gave a small smile. He realized then that he didn't want to go back. Something about that man seemed so…warm and kind. Like family. He inwardly sighed. The perfect family that he pictured for himself was never going to come true. So why bother to even hope?

"I'll go back soon. Not ready yet, I guess." The moment the words left his mouth, Zack literally stepped on his foot. What was he saying?

There was a flicker of understanding in Wilson's eyes as he took in the downcast form of a teenager before him. "Had an argument?"

Zack stole a glance at him and muttered, "Not really."

"Family stuff?"

Zack hesitated, then sighed. "My brother."

"I may not know what's truly going on, but you should work it out with him. He's family. And I'm sure he cares about you. Don't you ever forget that," Wilson said kindly. He looked at his watch and shot Zack a genuine look of regret. "I'm afraid we have to go now. My wife has been frantic about the loss of our little one here." He glanced at his daughter warmly.

Zack nodded. "Of course."

They shook hands and Wilson was about to leave with Amanda in tow when Zack called out. "Wait!"

Zack ran forward and handed Amanda her ice cream. He bent down and touched her hair lightly. "Live a beautiful life, Amanda."

Before Wilson or Amanda could respond, Zack had jumped to his feet and walked quickly away.

That was his greatest mistake.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"Cody!"

Mr Moseby walked onto the Sky Deck impatiently, the stern frown that was norm on his features. "_Where_ is your brother? I told him to be back eight! It's nearly nine thirty!"

Woody laughed. "Like Zack would actually listen."

Cody looked up in surprise. "Woody? Where's Zack?"

Woody popped a candy into his mouth. "I don't know." He continued chewing. "Mr Moseby was asking you, not me."

Cody slowly got off the seat, his stare locked onto Woody's. The bad feeling returned. "But…but Zack said he was going with you."

Mr Moseby rolled his eyes. "So now you're telling me _Zack_ Martin went off the ship without anyone to see to his behavior?"

Cody moved his wide-eyed gaze to the older man. Oh. Why hadn't he seen it? Zack had been _angry. _Of course he would have gone alone. He never liked company when he was down. _Sixteen years of being his twin and I only realize it now? _Cody could have slapped himself. His brother always did stupid things when he was mad. _But…I didn't think he was that angry…_

Cody remembered the look on his brother's face and made his decision. "I'm going to search for him," he announced, already walking out of the Sky Deck.

Before anyone could protest, there was an announcement on the news report that caught their attention.

"_A tragic accident off the street near…"_

Cody flicked the television a glance.

"_At 9:07 pm, just mere minutes ago…"_

Cody stared at the grim expression on the newscaster's face. A chill went through him.

"…_according to witnesses, the car had tried to swerve but had hit the side of a metal fence before overturning…"_

His eyes grew wider. A thought occurred to him and he brushed it off almost wildly. _It's just a news report. Of an accident._ In England. Nothing that concerned him. He would listen to the entire report, and then search for Zack. Everything was fine. His heart rate sped up as the reporter handed the report to some witnesses.

"…_was horrible. Just a kid, blonde hair. He was walking away when…Gosh. There was all this blood…"_

Cody felt his insides grow still. There was a loud, resounding gasp. _No, it couldn't be. No. No. _His heart pounded against his chest. _Thud. Thud. Thud._

"…_A life may have been lost. A tragic event that…"_

_Th-thud. Th-thud. Th-thud._

"Oh my God."

Blood rushed to his ears. It was so loud. _Th-thud. Th-thud. Th-thud._

"Cody?"

That bad feeling… No, please. No. _Th-thud. Th-thud. Th-thud._

"Cody! Breathe, Cody!"

_Th-thud. _They were supposed to have a long talk when his brother came back.

Cody felt the air forced out of him when someone – Woody, he later realized – smacked his back. He sucked in a quick, shallow breath as he stared wide-eyed at everyone. He wondered briefly if they could hear the frantic beat of his heart. Why was it so hard to breathe?

"Are you okay, Cody?" Mr Moseby.

Cody could have laughed sickly. Didn't they realize that his brother could be…?

_Th-thud. Th-thud_. They were supposed to have time.

"Zack," he whispered.

That was the last thing he remembered before his vision flickered and turned black.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying." __- __Sarah Dessen, Just Listen_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it! :D

Replies:

To **tiger002**: Thank you for your review! I really appreciate it. I hope they aren't OOC here. To be honest, I've never watched Suite Life on Deck. So I'm more or less guessing how they would behave. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

To **ViperElle**: Thanks for your review, reviewer, whoever you are! :D I had this sudden want to put in quotes. I'm glad you liked it! The one thing that really captured me about the twins is the sense of…_family_. I love how they – Zack, Cody, Carey (and sometimes Kurt) – show that, in the end, they do care for each other. I hope you like this chapter!

To **Friedchicken23**: Thank you for your review! I hope I didn't go OOC here. Hope you like the chapter!

To **flufflekinz8188**: Thank you so much for your review! Makes me so happy. :) I tried inserting more thoughts here. Do you think it's better or..? May be my fic, but I gladly welcome and suggestions on how to improve. If you have anything to say, just say it~ I will try my best to reflect and work on it. :D I hope you like this chapter!

To **emilylake90**: Thanks for the review! Hope you like the chapter!

To **ilovesprouse**: Thank you for your review! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)

**Next chapter**: A twin is shattered. Thoughts of 'Why' and tears tear through the night. As he questions reality, can he come to terms that maybe…maybe his life would be empty after all? Why did someone so important have to die?

So…if it isn't too much, could I get **7** reviews before I update next please? Feel free to offer constructive criticism. :)

Thank you!


	3. Forever

Fragility – The scream dies; the shattering stops. The pieces trembles, then… it's all over. The glass has broken, and can never be repaired.

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the late update. But better late than never, right? I never expected so many reviews. Thank you so much! :) You guys make me so happy. Not much action but interaction here. I guess, the one thing in the show that I really wanted to see was more in depth conversations between the brothers.

I've had a rather tough time with this chapter, while taking into account the thoughts of some readers. I really didn't know whether to upload this chapter or not (it never seemed good enough), but then I thought 'What the hey?' I started this fic and I will finish it. Any mistakes I make, I leave it to you guys to point out and I will learn from them.

So, before you go on to the story, I just want to say that, in the end, after trying to correct the mistakes pointed out by a reader (thank you! I never would have realized on my own), I decided to follow my heart. I recognize that I cannot better my writing greatly within a short time but I will continue trying.

I tried my best for this chapter, tried to keep the characters true to themselves as much as I could. So...enjoy! :)

**Summary**:A twin is shattered. Thoughts of 'Why' and tears tear through the night. As he questions reality, can he come to terms that maybe…maybe his life would be empty after all? Why did someone so important have to die?

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Suite Life Series nor any of its characters.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_There is no present or future, only the past, happening over and over again, now." - EUGENE O'NEILL, A Moon for the Misbegotten_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

_Zack._

_His body lay motionless on the ground_, _his greenish-blue eyes dull and unseeing. His arms were limp by his sides, one splayed haphazardly on the rough gravel floor. His lips were parted, but no sound could be heard._

_It was the picture of red roses clinging to white. Of a life drained._

Cody started, his hands clasped together. He shook his head violently as a soft breeze brushed his features. He shivered. It was cold. He remembered someone draping a blanket over his back, but why was there no warmth at all? Or was it just him?

_Zack._

_He had always looked so bright and happy and cheerful and…and so _Zack_. The cloth that he donned now hung heavy with blood. It shone so bright against his pale skin._

_The blood on his cheeks, his arms, his legs._

…

_His heart._

Shallow air escaped Cody's mouth. His lungs heaved in a short, staccato breath and then let it go. It was routine. Breathe in. Breathe out. Cody recognized that his heart was still beating. But was Zack's? There was a hitch in his throat.

_Thud. Thud. Thud._

The young Martin hadn't wanted to wake up. His frantic mind had screamed at him to stay down and be out for the rest of the day, week, month, year. Or maybe forever. Zack had always been _there_. Always annoying. Always exasperating. So much to the point Cody hadn't wanted him there at times. What had he been thinking? Cody felt the energy in him drain from his limbs. He wanted to fall into unconsciousness and wake to find it was a dream – no, nightmare.

_You have to stay awake._

_For Zack._

Cody felt a ragged sob build up his throat. Was his brother really…? Even the thought of thinking it sent hysterical incoherence through his brain like a frazzled wire. He had to be alive. It was Zack. How could his brother not be?

_Please…no. Not my family._

His eyelashes were wet.

_Just not him_.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Gasps.

He was…breathing?

Shock ran through him wildly. _Oh my God. _Zack forced himself to look around him, pushed himself to stare straight into reality. His heart nearly stopped.

There was so much blood. Zack's eyes raked through the scene unfocusedly. His fingers twitched as he realized people were screaming.

"Get the ambulance!"

"Clear the area!"

"Push the crowd back! We need more space!"

"Damn it! Where's the medical team?"

The voices melded into the tumbling cycles of his mind.

_Accident_, his head told him.

_Accident_. Zack repeated the word in his mind, rolling it, tasting it. Why was his brain working so slowly? As he mulled over the dreadful word, it finally clicked. He needed to..._I need to help._

Zack tried to move, tried to force himself to his feet. When did the world tip to such an odd angle? Another loud gasp. And why did the air that tore through his throat seem so unwilling and rough?

Why did it hurt so much?

"There's another one here!" Sounded so close to his head.

"Hurry up! We're…oh no. We're losing him!"

Who were they losing? Zack wondered. A surge of pain shot through his body.

Someone was dying. And, even though he knew who it must be – it really couldn't have been anyone else – denial rang flat out in his mind. It couldn't be. But why did his chest feel so pained? It hurt so much.

Zack felt his eyes close slowly. Two damp streaks trailed down his cheeks.

…

"We lost him."

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[One and a half hour later]

"Cody…"

Cody felt a warm touch on his shoulder. He flinched. It wasn't supposed to feel warm. Nothing should – could – be warm if his brother was-

Everyone jumped at the abrupt cry that tore out of the Martin's throat. Bailey immediately flung her arms around the shaking form of Cody Martin, her fingers rubbing soothing circles onto his back. Lines of worry creased her forehead.

"Shh. It's okay, Cody. It's okay," she murmured as she took the seat beside him.

She looked up at Mr Moseby, her face strained. _What do I do?_ she mouthed silently. Mr Moseby shook his head and pointedly stared at Cody before returning his gaze to her. Bailey's eyes clouded with despair.

She hugged him tighter. "It's okay. He's okay."

Cody sat limp in her arms as she soothed him. He couldn't be soothed. _Oh gosh._ Zack. Zack. Zack. Zack.

_Zack._

"What if he's not?"

Everyone tensed. Mr Moseby and Bailey turned to Woody and shot him looks of disbelief. Woody looked affronted. "What? I mean-"

"_Shut up_!" Cody got to his feet and glared heatedly at his roommate. Enraged fury flashed in his eyes. "That's my _twin_ you're talking about!"

Woody cringed. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"

Cody breathed heavily and fell back onto the seat, his shoulders sagging by his sides. He brought his hands up and covered his face, trembles shooting through his body.

Woody shot the distraught brother apologetic glances and cringed when he saw the look that Bailey shot him.

"What time is it?" Cody whispered. His head remained buried in his hands.

Mr Moseby hesitated then glanced at his watch. "Eleven forty three."

Cody swallowed thickly. "He was supposed to be back by eight, right?" He lifted his head, the blonde tresses falling over his face. An expression not unlike desperation plastered itself on his features. "He…Zack could be late right? I-I mean, he's _Zack_. Right?" His voice went an octave higher near the end, frantic for any hope to hold onto.

"It might not have been him, Cody," Mr Moseby said gently. "They would have informed us by now if it had indeed been your brother."

Cody nodded though he didn't feel any better. His mind felt numb. Empty. The words seemed confusing, jumbled up. But he knew the tone was meant to soothe his nerves. Cody's eye lit up. "C-call him." He jerked his head towards Bailey as he slipped to his feet. "Call him… I have to call him." His fingers shook as he grabbed his phone from the counter.

"Cody…" Bailey tried to reach for his hand. "We already tried. Let's just wait, okay, baby?"

Cody ignored her and dialed his brother's number. _Pick up. Pick up._ He was immediately sent to voicemail.

"He's not picking up," he muttered to himself. He called again. "He's not picking up!" He said it louder this time.

"Cody-"

"He _always_ picks up!"

"Don't bother. He won't this time."

Cody's eyes narrowed sharply. Infuriation tinged his vision red as he rounded on the said speaker. He exploded, "_How could you-_"

The Martin's eyes widened as his words died in his throat. He stared disbelievingly at…Zack.

Zack raised an eyebrow at his brother's form, a blank expression adorning his features.

"What?"

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Everyone stared in stunned silence.

Zack was there, on the Sky Deck with them. He was alive. Alive and standing with the most exasperating expression on his face. One that said 'I really couldn't care less but, what?'

Cody stayed rooted in place as his eyes locked on his siblings'. A part of him noticed the dull, blank look in the similar pair of eyes but he pushed it away fiercely. His brother wasn't… _Oh. Zack. He's alive._

_He's alive_

Cody shakily moved his feet.

…

_He's alive._

That was all it took before the younger twin launched himself at his brother.

"Cody?"

Cody almost cried at the sound of Zack's voice. "Zack! You…I- I thought you- … Zack!" Cody broke off and hugged him tighter. Relief washed over him. His brother was fine. The sudden reprieve felt so out of place that it left Cody almost in a state of shock.

A confused expression weaved itself onto the older Martin's features as he threw baffled glances at Mr Moseby and Bailey. The confusion only deepened when he saw the inexplicable relief in their eyes morph into anger and indignance.

He looked away. That disappointment. He had had enough for the day. _For forever_, he mentally told himself. His hands reached up cautiously to his brother's shaking back and he felt with surprise that the trembling almost immediately stopped.

He cleared his throat. "What's wrong, buddy?" he asked softly.

The arms that clutched at his back tightened than moved to grab his arms. Distraught, anger-filled eyes met his tired, weary ones. "Cody?" Uncertainly.

Zack watched in delayed horror as his brother's eyes became overwhelmingly wet before the droplets fell onto his already damp cheeks. _Damn. What's going on?_ Zack dared not look towards Bailey or Mr Moseby for assistance. _What's wrong with him? _

"What do you mean what's _wrong_?" Cody forced out through gritted teeth. It sounded strangely between a mix of pure infuriation and relief at the same time. "Do you know how _worried _I was?"

Zack suppressed a sigh. He didn't need this. Not now. Especially not after… His heart clenched. _No_, he thought resolutely. _Don't think about it._ "Okay, I get it. I'm late. I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"_You're not sorry!_" Cody exploded. His fingers dug deeper into his twin's shoulders. It hurt, but honestly, Zack couldn't care less then. "_Did you care? That I was sitting here waiting for YOU_" - he poked his finger into his brother's chest harshly – "_thinking that you freaking DIED!_"

Zack tensed. An expression of full-blown shock plastered itself onto his features. "Died?" he repeated in disbelief. "Why would you think that?"

Cody bit his lip hard. After all that worry, after all that _pain_, his brother just came back like it was no big deal? _Or would you rather that it was him? _Cody stiffened at the thought. He shook his head slowly and surprised Zack with another hug. Loud, racking sobs tore through his body as he latched himself onto his brother.

"I was so scared, Zack," he blubbered pitifully. "I thought I lost you."

Zack returned the hug instantly. Gripping his brother tight, Zack led Cody to the nearest chair. He gently lowered Cody onto it and winced when the latter refused to let go. Adjusting himself so he was comfortable, he tried to scoot as near to his twin as possible while settling himself on the seat next to Cody. He began murmuring soft, soothing words to his brother. _It'll be okay. I'm here now. Nothing's going to take me away from you._

Zack waited as his brother cried into his shoulder. Uncomfortably aware of the others' – Mr Moseby's, Woody's and Bailey's – presence, Zack drew as much comfort as he could from his distressed twin as much as Cody did from him. He could feel them staring at him, drilling holes into his head. The older twin lowered his gaze. What had he done to deserve this? Out of the two of them, Zack felt _he_ needed to be the one crying, not the other way round. Cry because someone _did_ die, weep because some things just couldn't be unseen.

"Buddy?"

Zack started at the call. He turned his gaze towards Cody in surprise. Cody hadn't called him that in years. "Buddy?" he repeated, unsure himself if he was questioning his brother's use of the word or if he was simply replying in kind.

Cody looked worried. He pulled back slightly and sniffled. "Are you okay?"

Zack's eyebrows furrowed. "Are _you_ okay?" he threw back, albeit gently.

Cody pulled away further to have a better look at his twin. His eyes fell on the shirt that clung to his brother's skin and he gasped. His eyes wide, Cody couldn't seem to turn away. "Z-Zack?"

"What is it?" Slight panic slipped into the older's tone. What was it now? His gaze followed his twin's and he froze. _Damn._ He inwardly cursed. _Damn it._

His once blue striped shirt now sported a dark, reddish hue near his stomach. Droplets of what had to be blood decorated the hems of his sleeves, some nearly reaching his shoulder. Zack watched as his brother silently stood up and pulled Zack up with him. Watched as Cody quietly appraised his form.

Zack himself looked himself over and realized in weary misery that a part of his jeans had torn at the knee; there was a deep shade of black on the front of his jeans. Zack remembered where the blood had come from. There was so much. It had seemed endless. But then, though endless it wasn't, empty the life out of an innocent it did.

"What happened to you?" Cody whispered.

Zack shrugged tiredly. He should explain, or make up an excuse. _I don't care._

Cody stared, horrified, at the dismal expression on his face. "Y-you're not…hurt, are you?"

Mr Moseby stepped forward. "Are you okay, Zack?" Zack glanced up to see the displeasure gone, replaced by concern, but he didn't feel grateful.

"Nothing happened to me."

Cody hesitated. "But the blood-"

"-isn't mine."

Cody stared at his brother in disbelief. "What do you mean it isn't yours?"

Zack shrugged again. He wanted to walk away, turn and never look back. His eyes met Cody's and his resistance failed. That anguish… Zack'd be damned before he'd allow anyone close to him wear such a look again.

"Accident," he mumbled. He plowed on quickly before the panic set in into his twin. "In town. Tried to…" Zack stared at his shoes. "Tried to help."

Cody swallowed thickly. "And?" he prompted uncertainly.

He met a pair of crushed, pained eyes before the gaze jerked to stare at the ground. Zack shook his head uncomfortably, more than aware that everyone was staring at him.

"Take it off."

Zack tensed. "What?"

Cody's eyes hardened. "Take it off," he repeated.

"Why?"

"Stop questioning me and take it _off_!"

Zack grimaced. He eyed his brother cautiously. "Cody…I-"

"_Why?_" Cody burst out. "If you aren't injured, if you aren't _hurt_, why won't you take it _off_?" His voice reached an octave higher.

A tense silence fell over the group. Zack glanced at the company they had. "Could you guys leave us for a moment?"

Mr Moseby raised an eyebrow. It hadn't been a question. He stared Zack up and down, and then shifted to stare at Cody. He seemed to mull over it. "It seems I am unwanted here. Please do not go to bed too late." Mr Moseby turned and double-backed after a second thought. "And Zack, change immediately."

The man threw Bailey and Woody a meaningful glance and they both retreated into the lower decks.

Zack stared at their backs until their disappeared. Fingering the ends of his shirt, he slipped it off his arms and shoulders. He gripped the piece of cloth in his hands. He wasn't letting it go.

Cody's gaze pounced on Zack's perfectly toned and unblemished skin, darting left and right, up and down frantically. He circled his brother once, twice.

He sighed.

"You okay now?"

Cody glanced at Zack guiltily. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Zack allowed himself a small smile. He gave Cody a light squeeze on his shoulder. "What happened? Why did you think I…why'd you think that?"

Cody cast his gaze to the floor, fidgeting uncomfortably. He sucked in a deep breath and finally spoke up. "There was a news report... Of an accident. Someone with blonde hair was hit and-" Cody broke off. He looked pleadingly at his brother.

Zack nodded. His eyes had darkened at Cody's words. _Accident_

"I understand." His voice was gentle. "I'm here now. It's okay."

Cody stared wide-eyed at his twin. Since when was Zack so… _It doesn't matter. He's here now, _Cody reminded himself. _He's here now._

"I'm such a girl, aren't I?"

Zack smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. He placed his arms firmly on his twin's shoulders, two comforting pillars of strength. Cody stared at Zack curiously.

The older Martin sucked in a deep breath. "You aren't a girl, Codes. There's nothing wrong with worrying for family." A hint of hesitation crossed his serious eyes. "I'm glad you worried for me, Cody," he said softly.

Cody felt himself frown._ What? _He looked away. "For a moment there, I just…"_For a moment there, I really believed it was you. I thought I lost you._

Zack raised an eyebrow. "It could never have been me, buddy. What were you thinking?" He gave a nervous laugh.

Cody sighed. His brother was right. "I'm just glad it wasn't you, Zack."

Cody didn't catch the look of regret that crossed Zack Martin's features before it cracked and disappeared.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[2 hours later – Zack's cabin]

"There's big enough space for two, you know."

Cody felt his cheeks flush. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "You don't mind?"

There was a long pause. Cody almost thought that his brother hadn't heard him when Zack spoke up from the bed. "I'd be most grateful."

Cody jerked his head to stare at his twin in shock. _What did he say? _He wondered if he should wait for a response.

Zack shifted uneasily and then sat up from the bed. Tresses of messy blonde hair hung above his eyes, concealing it from view, but Cody knew that his brother was upset. Cody stood up from the chair by the desk and walked over to sit by the still form of his twin. He bounced slightly on the mattress.

"What's wrong, buddy?" he finally spoke up.

The answer came up just as smoothly, though Cody thought it strained. "You've called me that more within an hour than you have in years."

Cody allowed himself a small smile. His fingers played along the edge of the mattress. "You never stopped calling me that. Not even when Drew laughed at you for it." His smile widened gratefully.

Cody could feel the bed move slightly as his brother fidgeted again. Zack was uncomfortable. The smile dimmed slightly. Why?

"Yeah…" Zack trailed off. He trained his gaze somewhere near the closet. Cody took this in silently, letting the quiet take over them for the moment. He felt…complete. Safe. They needed this, he realized. They needed to stay together.

"I'm sorry I hadn't tried harder," Zack suddenly spoke up. His voice was low and uncertain. "I never knew they bullied you that much."

Cody felt a part of him crumble. The confusion in him amplified as he turned to stare at his brother.

"Don't speak like that. Why are you talking like that?"

"I'm just saying." Zack offered his younger sibling a quick smile of assurance.

Cody shook his head. "You're not. There's something going on and you're not telling me."

Zack's features grew sad, or was Cody imagining it? "Nothing's going on. Can't I be nice to you once in a while? You had a bad…scare, after all."

"But, Zack-"

"You must be tired. Come on. Get to bed. Plenty of room." Zack patted the other side of the bed invitingly. He had pushed the two beds together again, taking care to clean the mess before having his brother enter the cabin. Cody never had liked messy rooms. The older Martin knew his sibling had found it strange, but it felt oddly satisfying to see the pleasant surprise set in Cody's eyes.

Zack had sent his dirty pile of socks and clothing to the laundry, swept the room clean and had taken extra care to make both beds.

"O-okay…"

Cody got into bed. He was about to tuck himself in when his brother's hands reached forward and pulled the covers over him. He turned at the unexpected gesture. "Zack?"

Zack smiled. "You're welcome."

Worry flickered through Cody's features. Had something happened to his brother? Why the odd actions? A thought occurred to him.

He bit his lip and nudged at his twin's fingers. "Do you…want to talk about it?" He began, uncertain.

The hand that had been reaching for the light stilled. Zack glanced at Cody out of his peripheral vision. "What do you mean?"

Cody fidgeted. "You did say that you tried to help in that accident. If you want to talk about it…" he trailed off.

Zack flipped the light off and plunged the room in darkness. "It's fine," he said curtly. The bed tipped at the sudden weight as he settled down again. He crossed his arms over his chest, not bothering to cover himself with the blanket.

Cody ignored him. "I mean, it's not good to keep things bottled up and I-"

"I said it's fine, Cody."

"-know that it mustn't have been pleasant to see-"

"_Of course it wasn't!_" Zack exploded. He sat up sharply. "It wasn't all cakes and balloons!" Zack's eyes widened at his words. He grimaced. _Damn_. He hurried to redeem himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly.

Cody was silent, then tried to look at his brother through the dark. As hard as he tried, he could only make out Zack's hair falling over his eyes. Guilt tugged at his consciousness. He should have waited. Zack would have told him when he wanted to.

"I'm sorry too, Zack."

Zack sighed. He tugged at his twin's tense form and Cody fell into his arms. "I just don't want to talk about it, buddy." He hugged Cody tighter. "I'm not ready yet."

Cody lowered his eyelashes. His lip trembled as he returned the hug. _Something's wrong. Something happened to him. _He breathed heavily._ And I don't know what_. "I understand."

Zack squeezed lightly and let go. "Thanks, Codes."

Both of them sat in uncertain silence for a moment. Neither knew how to deal with this. It was different, and each twin hadn't known what it felt like to be in the other's place.

"Let's go to sleep. It's late."

Cody looked back up and noticed his brother sitting against the headboard, his head tilted to stare at him. Unconsciously brushing aside the suggestion, the younger Martin suddenly realized… This person before him was the one he had been so worried about, so afraid of losing. _Like my life had been ripped apart when he seemed to be gone._ As long as Zack was there, that Cody was able to feel him and touch him and not be alone… Cody Martin would be fine.

"Cody?"

Cody moved closer to his brother. "Promise me, Zack."

Zack sounded confused. "Promise you what?"

Cody let out an impatient huff and then continued seriously. "Promise me you won't go around doing dangerous stuff, Zack. And that you're always reachable. Promise me you'll always be safe."

Surprise flitted through Zack's features. A touch of sadness took hold of his heart as he realized where his twin was going. _Cody…_

"_Promise _me, Zack." Pleading, urging him to lay his twin's fears to rest.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cody. I'm staying right here." Zack sighed._ It's not worth it. Not for someone like me. But…_

"I promise."

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

_Bright red dots splattered the sidewalk. It dripped onto the ground, forming a pool of liquid warmth._

"_Oh no…"_

_Screaming and shouts. It was all so hazy._

_He felt an arm on his shoulder. It commanded his immediate attention and he turned, tearing his gaze away from the disaster that had played out before his eyes._

_The moment he saw the man, the familiar wrinkles, the brilliant green eyes, the world seemed to fade away. Like it was no longer existent, and he and that man were the only ones left. The young teen could feel a chill run down his spine._

_The man lifted his hand and pointed it straight at him, emotionless and cold. "You." The twinkle in his eyes had gone._

"_Wilson." The younger caught himself and hurried to correct his mistake. "Sir."_

"_You," the man repeated. He moved his forefinger and gestured to the wreckage. Zack felt his eyebrows furrow but forced himself to turn back. To see the one image that he loathed to see but had seared itself into his darkest memories._

_The car lay on its back, the front crushed completely beyond repair. Zack saw the broken lamp post and knew that the collision had been too hard an impact for the metal to withstand. His gaze trailed over the accident-scene, darting left and right, from the broken glass to the passers-by, from them to the…_

_His eyes widened. He could have sworn he stopped breathing then._

_The frail body of a small girl was lying by the broken window of a shop. A dark crimson matted her beautiful curls as she lay completely motionless. Not a breath._

"_It's your fault."_

_Zack saw the blonde hair. Recognized the brown dress._

_The man appeared by his side, his eyes hard and drilling into the frozen teen's. He pointed at Zack again. "Your fault."_

No.

"_Your fault for taking her."_

…

"_Your fault for walking away. For leaving us on the road."_

_Zack shakily shook his head, his eyes wide and staring. "No…"_

"_Your fault…for letting us die."_

"_No!_" Zack sat up, breathing heavily. He looked around wildly, searching for that haunting gaze. Expecting himself to be watched. He jumped when he met a greenish-blue, rather than a brilliant green.

"Zack?"

Zack stared into the worried eyes of his brother. Then collapsed back on his bed. He pulled his arms over his face and moaned.

Amanda.

He was never going to live this down.

"Zack? Are you okay?"

_It's your fault._

Zack violently clawed at his hair.

"Stop it! Zack!"

The older Martin felt his arms forced back from his head. He met a frantic identical pair of eyes. "It's my fault," he said emptily.

_It's my fault._

He was going to remember this. Forever.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love." - Madame de Stael_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it. :)

Replies:

To **frozen strawberries of horror: **Here it is! I hope you like it! :) Thank you for the review!

To **Slinky Flower the Lovatic: ** It's okay. :) Thank you for taking the time to review. I hope they'll be fine too. I feel so bad doing this to them but I love writing angst-y fics so… I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

To **ilovesprouse: **Thank you for your review! I just think the show, although comedy, lacks a bit of seriousness in it. How the twins feel towards each other – jealousy? Anger? Inferiority? Anyway, hope you aren't disappointed by this chapter!

To **peanut butter**: Thank you for reviewing! Well, Zack wasn't the one hit by the car. I feel bad for doing it to him though. Hope you liked the chapter!

To **Especially for you**: Thanks for your review! Sad, isn't it? The poor twins… Hope you liked this chapter!

To **eeelllbbb: **Thanks! I just have a thing for writing sad stuff, I guess. I'm glad you liked it. :) I hope you like this one too.

To **dragons breath**: Thanks for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter!

To **serpent**: Thank you! I hope this chapter wasn't disappointing!

To **owlhero**: Thank you so much for your reviews! :) They make me so happy. Well, I heeded your advice and didn't write the preview for the next chapter. I hope the preview prior to this chapter didn't ruin this one for you.

I know this chapter is pretty much about the interaction between the twins and is probably boring but I tend to focus more on their thoughts and feelings, rather than things really happening. Hope that isn't too disappointing for you. I never really liked how most writers rush through their stories (interaction-wise anyway). It leaves so much to the imagination.

Hope I kept the characters true to themselves. Do tell me what you think and if I've made a mistake anywhere. :) Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

To **the-lovely-anomaly**: Thank you for your reviews. I really appreciate your taking the time to write them. Not many writers deign to grace another with their perspectives. When you mention my overuse of adverbs, I realized that I had indeed used them too many times. Thank you for pointing that out. I never would have realized it had you not brought it up. (It shocked me a little when I really focused on each one that I had used. They seemed to glare at me for my abuse of adverbs) I tried to ease up on them here.

While you pointed out many noteworthy things, I do recognize that I cannot better my writing so much over a short span of time, but I will continue trying to follow your advice. I tried my best for this chapter while staying true to my own style of writing. I hope I didn't disappoint you. :)

Thanks again! Cheers.

To **theharpgurl3: **Thank you for reviewing! I hope what happened to Amanda didn't ruin the fic for you. Hope you like this chapter! :)

Well…if it isn't too much, could I get **12** reviews before I update next please? Feel free to offer constructive criticism. :)

Thank you!


	4. Time to Call One's Own

Fragility – They do try. Pick up the pieces and place them back together. Yet even the strongest glue may fail. For the cracks only widen… They will never disappear.

**A/N**: Hey guys! I'm so sorry! I just lost my muse suddenly. I tried to write but no words came to mind.

It was like trying to ride a bicycle with one of the wheels missing, screeching and groaning against the ground while making little to no progress.

You guys know the feeling of 'Should I update?' or 'Should I not?' that you get when you've written a chapter and really put in a lot of effort into it, but then you feel like something's missing? I decided that I should just update, because if I don't, I might take weeks more to just get this chapter done and be satisfied with it.

Please know I badly wanted to update, and that no matter how long I take to do it, I certainly _will_. I don't think nicely of writing something and leaving it undone. I'm sure you guys know the feeling of reading a fic halfway and BAM! The writer has disappeared into thin air with no signs of coming back...

Anyway, after spending so much time reading and re-reading my fics, the reviews, other fics, storybooks, and doing schoolwork, hanging out with people, and wrote five different drafts… Ta-daa~

This chapter was almost torture but I tried my best. I hope you guys like it!

P.S. Dear writer of Blood in the Bathroom, please update. You're killing me with the wait. Are you coming back anytime soon? *sniffs* I need to know what happens!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Suite Life Series nor any of its characters.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony." - Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Cody sat up all night, his hands gripping the edges of the blanket loosely, staring at the unmoving heap that was his brother.

Zack had only _finally_ succumbed to the ravages of sleep. If it weren't for the grimaces that took hold of his features now and then, Cody would have thought his brother seemed peaceful. He felt almost guilty at the relief that washed through him every time his twin was once again within the clutches of a horrible nightmare. He had to check several times if Zack was breathing.

Cody didn't want to wake him. He knew Zack wouldn't fall asleep again if he did. The sleeping twin mumbled something that vaguely resembled his earlier words and Cody let out a shuddered breath, recalling the pure terror he had felt at his brother's sudden cry. Neither did he think he could forget how unprepared he was when Zack had proceeded to pull madly at his hair.

Cody would have to lie if he said he wasn't freaked.

_It's my fault._

The same haunting words grated at his ears.

_My fault._

As Cody hunched over his pulled up knees, he wondered to himself: What exactly was Zack's fault? What had he done?

There was a short moment of sinking sensation. And as the clock toiled slowly into the next second, minute, hour, Cody became afraid.

…

Surely that accident hadn't been his twin's fault?

Before he could allow himself to dwell on his increasingly vivid imagination, Zack stirred, a frown marring his features. The corners of his lips curled downwards, before his face went lax.

Biting back a sigh, Cody reached out and touched his dark mop of sleep-tousled hair, tracing the strands lightly. His brother may be well and fine, but the younger twin couldn't shake off this...feeling that tugged at the edges of his mind.

_Zack…_

_I'm worried about you._

His gaze never left his brother's form.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[Morning]

Zack silently handed Cody a clean shirt. His gaze was turned away, directed at his bare feet. Cody gave the blue cloth a brief glance before taking it from his brother's grip. He fingered the clothing for a moment, then eyed his twin for the thousandth time that morning.

If Cody didn't know his brother, he could have sworn he saw a bright light gleam in his twin's eyes through the curtain of blonde locks that fell over Zack's features.

But then, Cody wasn't sure he knew his brother anymore. At least…not as he had 24 hours before.

"Are you going to stare at me all day or put on that shirt so we can go to class?"

Cody flushed. "Huh? Oh. I mean, right. Sorry," he mumbled. He pulled the top over his head and tugged at the end 'till it covered his skin. He forced himself to speak. "I'm going to go use the bathroom first, if you don't mind."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever."

The two stood there for a moment. Cody bit his lip. He nodded to himself and entered the bathroom, closing the door with a gentle push so it wouldn't startle his brother.

He emerged a few minutes later, his hair combed, his teeth brushed. He resisted the urge to look at his twin as Zack entered the now vacant bathroom.

The door closed with a soft click.

Cody went to sit on the bed, lightly bouncing on it as the mattress sunk under his weight. He half-thought of heading to his cabin to grab his bag, but thought the better of it. He didn't want to leave Zack alone. Not even for a moment.

After the heart attack he had nearly gotten the day before, Cody didn't think he could bear to let his brother out of his sight. It was more for his peace of mind as much as it was Zack's.

He kept his eyes trained on the bathroom door.

That was when he heard a crash.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

He was finally away from the prying eyes of his twin. Zack almost heaved a sigh of relief.

Sure it felt nice that Cody actually, well, cared. But still…

Zack found himself staring at his reflection, silent and still. His dull gaze trailed over the tresses of golden hair that hung wildly over his face, then moved to the dark bags under his eyes. He closed his eyes as his hands gripped the edges of the sink tightly.

The same voices raked through his mind again, screeching against his consciousness, tearing whatever peace of mind he had managed to hold on to. _Your fault… Your fault…_

He couldn't do this. He just _couldn't_.

Sickening, taunting, gruesome thoughts – images – flashed before his mind's eye, disappearing just as quickly to be replaced by another, each more haunting, more…pained. His imagination didn't help quell the headache either. Zack let out a soft moan. The frantic pounding that _hammered_ at his head only worsened when he laid out the day that he had to go through.

He cracked his eyelids open and squinted at the mirror, the edges of his vision blurring, darkening slightly. Zack shook his head as if that would push the heaviness that he felt away, realizing a bit late that it only contributed to his aching head.

Another moan left his parted lips. He didn't freaking _need_ this.

His hands let go of his death grip on the sink and unintentionally sent the sink's residents into the air before they landed on the tiled floor with a loud _thump-thud-thud_.

Zack shut his eyes firmly, letting out a loose sigh, as he sunk to the floor. _Round 2. The brother goes all hysterical on me_.

"Zack? Zack!" There was a shuffling on the other side before Cody's voice rang through the door, his voice firm. "I'm coming in."

The older twin looked up as the door opened, his face drawing up a complete blank. His weary gaze meeting a pair of worried – _huh_, he mentally scoffed, _try frenzied_ – ones as both of them stared at each other; Zack waiting, Cody raking in his brother's form in shocked silence.

"Are you…" Cody took two big strides and knelt by his brother. "You okay?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

Zack took a moment to answer. He watched Cody look him over, feeling a sense of detached amusement and wonder at his actions. He almost allowed himself to smile. "I'm fine, Codes."

Cody's head snapped up, startled. Confusion clouded his greenish-blue eyes. "But…you" – he swallowed – "why are you on the floor?" Cody glanced at the fallen bottles of bathroom supplies, his eyebrow lifting questioningly.

Zack seemed to freeze. What was he to say to that? "Um…I uh fell."

Cody shot him a look of disbelief. "Right." His features switched back to concern… He tugged at Zack's arm. "Come on, sitting on the floor can't be good for you."

Zack snorted. He pulled himself to his feet, allowing himself to lean on Cody for a moment. They entered the bedroom and Zack let himself fall headfirst onto his bed. He almost whimpered as the throbbing in his head intensified.

"My head is _killing_ me," he muttered. His hand reached up to grab his tousled hair and was about to tug it in frustration when something warm settled over his fist.

The familiar voice trailed into his ears, hard. "No, Zack."

Zack tilted his head to stare in surprise at his twin. They seemed to stare a lot at each other that morning. "What?"

Cody's eyes hardened. He pulled his brother's hand away from his head and glared heatedly at his twin, daring him to even touch a strand of his hair. "No," he repeated. "Not again." He paused for an infinitesimal second, hesitant. "Don't make me witness something like that. Please. Not ever again." His voice nearly cracked at the end.

Zack stiffened. He inwardly groaned. _I don't want to deal with this_. He saw the plea in his twin's gaze. _But I have to_, the back of his mind lamented.

He sucked in a deep breath. "Look, Cody. Last night…" he trailed off, willing away the gory images that practically flew at his throbbing mind. He swallowed and continued, "I just had a bad nightmare, okay? It's nothing to worry about."

"Don't lie to me." Cody sounded exasperated. "Do you know how freaked out I was? How could you expect me not to worry?"

Zack rolled his eyes. "You've never worried before. I don't see the problem now."

Cody's blue eyes narrowed. "So I'm supposed to just accept whatever you say even though it's blatantly obvious you're lying through your teeth?"

Zack shrugged, careful to keep his voice from wavering. "Well, yeah! Can you just let it go?" He watched as Cody rubbed the back of his neck.

"I can't, Zack! Can you blame me if I worry about you? You're _family_."

"Cody…"

The younger twin seemed to be on a roll. "How did you think I feel? Waking up in the middle of the night with you screaming and _tearing_ at your hair with that…" He struggled to find the right words, "-that look on your face? You aren't making this easy for me."

A sudden surge of white hot anger burst in the older's chest. "How _you _feel?" Zack repeated in disbelief. "How do you think _I _feel? You don't know anything! So lay off of me!"

He shot Cody a heated look. He got to his feet and pulled out a clean shirt and a pair of jeans from his dresser. Turning his back on his twin, he went back into the bathroom and slammed the door.

He emerged ten minutes later, pretending not to notice the relief that had fallen over his twin's countenance and instead picked up his bag by his bedside. His hand was on the doorknob when his younger sibling spoke up.

"Where are you going?"

Again, he pretended not to hear the tremor in Cody's voice. "Class."

"You…Aren't you tired? Maybe you should stay in-"

"I'm not tired," Zack snapped. Without another word, he let himself out of his cabin and the door closed with a loud _bang_.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Just how selfish could someone be?

Zack didn't walk far until he stopped, swaying lightly on his feet. Of course his headache had come back with a vengeance. It felt like his head was being used as target practice for throwing knives from the inside. His hand shot up and braced itself against the wall.

_How did you think I feel?_

Cody's voice reverberated through his already ringing mind.

…_easy for me!_

The hell? He was already having a bad morning as it is. He didn't need nor want his brother harping on him on every singly detail. Couldn't he get that Zack didn't want to talk about it?

And they call _him_ insensitive. Zack almost snorted.

He backed himself against the wall, his bag now forgotten on the floor. The anger that had assaulted his mind melted into nothingness, leaving only frustration and tiredness in its wake. It didn't take long for the voices to come back. Mr Moseby's, Cody's…Amanda's. Her dad's.

Zack wasn't a genius, but he figured way back that life would be so much easier if one couldn't feel.

When you can't feel, you'd never feel the pain either.

He let out a long, shuddering sigh.

"Shut up," he muttered. Those voices in his head… _Great, now I have them haunting me with a splitting headache to boot._

He half-wanted to turn back and sleep it all off – he mentally scoffed at that; he wasn't ready for another nightmare – half-wanted to do nothing at all. Perhaps, maybe wanted to go to class with Cody so he could have some normalcy and know that his brother was there backing him up. His sibling somehow always made things better for him.

A small drop of guilt sneaked into his veins. He knew his brother had only been worried. Sure, overly worried but still... It wasn't as if something was going to fall on him and kill – he internally winced – him. It was strange how, just a few days back, Zack had wanted Cody to spend more time with him. Just the two of them. He stared at his shoes and wiggled his toes. He didn't understand himself sometimes.

…

Most of the time.

The guilt increased tenfold.

_Promise me, Zack._

_Promise me you'll always be safe._

Cody had never been so worried before. Zack lifted a hand and covered his face, his shoulders trembling. Not even when he had once been rushed to the hospital after falling off a tree and knocked his head against a badly-placed stone.

He blinked rapidly. Why had he blown up at his brother? Couldn't he see Cody only wanted to help?

What was _wrong_ with him?

Maybe it was his guilt talking, or perhaps he just didn't want to be alone, but the teenager pushed himself off the wall, picked up his bag and headed back to his cabin, trying to ignore the wild throbbing that was his head.

Zack wondered how much longer he could stay on his feet. And he hadn't even gone for class yet.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

[In class]

"Now class, we're going to do what I'd like to call" – Miss Tutweiler lifted her hand in a dramatic fashion – "the Buddy System."

Bailey raised an eyebrow questioningly. "The Buddy System?" she repeated, skeptical.

Miss Tutweiler's lips twitched and she stared hard at her students. Placing the clipboard on her table, she turned back to the class, her fingers twiddling against each other. "Now, you will have to break into pairs." The class broke into a hushed whispering and the teacher coughed, regaining their attention. "Since more than half the class is practically failing their subjects, this system will require one partner to tutor the weaker of the two and to take charge of both your academics. And-"

"Sorry we're late!"

Everyone looked up to look at the twins who had only just entered.

Cody offered the teacher an apologetic smile, though his gaze quickly darted back to Zack who had side-stepped him to head for his table. The older twin didn't say a word or meet anyone's eye. He dropped his bag on the floor and fell into his seat.

"Nice of you to join us, Cody, Zack." Miss Tutweiler shifted her gaze from Cody to Zack and back to Cody. A bemused expression fell onto her features.

"Sorry, Miss Tutweiler," Cody began. He avoided her gaze. "We uh overslept, that's all." There were audible gasps at this.

"Since when did the two of you come to class together?" London piped up, her eyes wide and curious.

Cody stiffened and began to stammer, "We uh…Well…you see-"

Zack interjected dryly, "We're brothers. Can't we come to class together, London?"

London raised an elegant eyebrow, processed the words, and shrugged. "Okay."

The teacher shot him an unreadable look but gestured Cody to his chair. He nodded and, like Zack, settled down, his gaze upturned expectantly.

Bailey leaned over, trying to be discreet. "So where were you, Cody?"

Cody turned to her. "Huh?"

"You're never late for class," Bailey answered and added, "Ever."

"We did oversleep… Kind off."

Bailey frowned, and then reached out to touch his arm. "Is everything okay?" she whispered.

He nodded, and offered her a grateful smile. _Thanks_, he mouthed. Bailey smiled at him then turned back to the teacher.

"…like I was saying, a buddy system. Before you get all excited about whom to pair with, I already have a list of who's going to go with whom." The class groaned. Miss Tutweiler flipped through the papers on her clipboard and nodded to herself when she found the page. "Okay, first off-"

Cody raised his hand.

"No, Cody. You will _not _be paired with Bailey, and don't even try to change my mind."

"But-"

Miss Tutweiler wagged her finger at him, her face stern. "No. If I pair you to together, there wouldn't be any point to this system."

"I want to pair with Zack."

Everyone fell silent.

Miss Tutweiler lifted her head to stare, incredulous, at him. She vaguely noticed the surprised look on Zack's face. "What did you say?"

Cody met her gaze. His voice was firm and unyielding. "I want to pair with Zack," he repeated. When he didn't get a response, he continued, "That won't be a problem, would it? I think we'd be a great pair and I could definitely help him a lot." A thought occurred to him, and he paused. He glanced at his twin, taken aback to see Zack staring straight at him. Cody fidgeted uneasily, trying to ignore the unspoken question between them. "I mean, of course…as long as-"

"I don't mind." Zack leaned back against his chair, his hands draped across his chest. His expression was unreadable.

Miss Tutweiler made a humming noise under her breath. She nodded to herself, processing the idea given to her. She flicked her gaze between the brothers and inwardly shrugged. It didn't seem as if Cody would take no for an answer anyway.

"Well, you'll be seeing each other a lot."

And that settled it.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"So what was that about?" Zack asked.

Cody hooked his fingers together. He glanced at his brother and pointedly looked away. "Nothing," he lied.

Zack snorted. "Yeah right. You've never- Cody, look at me."

Cody hesitated at the not so casual tone, but complied. The two pairs of identical blue eyes met.

Zack stared hard at his twin, searching his face for any indication of what he was up to. Finding nothing other than apprehension, the older Martin settled back against his chair. "Well," he started, his gaze never leaving Cody's, "you've never volunteered to be paired with me before. What's up?"

Cody lifted his shoulders and let them fall. "I just…wanted to spend more time with my brother." He mentally clapped himself on the shoulder. That was part truth.

Zack arched an eyebrow. He began drumming his fingers on the table, allowing a somewhat awkward silence to fall between them.

Both of them had pulled their desks together, as had everyone else with their respective partners. Apparently, the original arrangement was for Cody was to coach both Zack _and_ Woody, but the cold stare that Zack had sent their teacher, coupled with his brother's immediate protest, had convinced Miss Tutweiler to just accept it and move on.

Not that Woody had taken it extremely well. He had pouted at the twins and said, "Hurtful."

Miss Tutweiler swept past and handed them their assignments. They didn't notice her curious glance before she walked away.

"So…" Cody began, uncertain. "Let's start."

Zack nodded.

…

[End of Class]

"So, just sum this up with this number, multiply it by ten and you get the answer." Cody leaned back and gave a satisfied sigh.

"Huh. That's how you do it?" Zack muttered under his breath. He twirled his pen in his hand as he bent to stare harder at the piece of paper. He frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

Zack shook his head. "Nothing." He reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes but his hand froze mid-air. His eyes shifted to stare at his brother, who had looked away, his posture unnaturally rigid and straight. Right.

_Rule number 1. No touching of anything related to head or hair. Consequence? A usually calm brother turned furious to deal with, _Zack reminded himself.

His hand dropped.

"So, you gonna tell me why we're in the same team?"

Cody averted his gaze. When he offered no response, he felt a finger prod at his shoulder. He ignored it. This went on for the next couple of minutes, each push and tug getting stronger. Cody finally gave in. "Do you really have a problem with me as your partner, Zack?" he asked, an exasperated tinge to his voice.

"No," he answered, careful. "I just wonder why you _insisted_ that we are paired together." Zack shrugged. "I don't see how it'll benefit you."

Cody tensed. Benefit? "For one thing, _you_ also contributed to us being paired. And _benefit_? Seriously, Zack?"

"What? Am I wrong?" Zack shot back.

Cody glared at his twin. "I'm your _brother_. What must I _do_ to knock that into your head?"

"You've never willingly team up with me on school assignments. It's always Bailey!" Zack hissed. His hands balled into a fist on his lap. His head pounded, he felt tired, and he just wanted to get out of the classroom and go _home_, which sadly wasn't the cabin that was on the ship. "Granted, Miss Tutweiler wouldn't have allowed it but still!"

Cody exhaled, slow and controlled. He bit his lip and tried to ease the annoyance that came with the being called Zachary Martin. "And? The one time I want to pair with you, you go all suspicious and defensive! What's up with that?"

"Why don't you answer my question before I answer yours?" Zack snapped.

"Can't you just accept it and work with me here?"

Zack huffed loudly. "Yeah, well, why would I want to work with _you_?"

Hurt crossed the younger's complexion. Cody shifted away from his brother, eyes wide and confused. "What's wrong with you?"

A touch of guilt clung to him, but then Zack felt frustration well up in him. He covered his head with his hands. "Look, I don't know, okay? Everything's messed up, and my head hurts and I don't even freaking know what's going on!"

Cody hesitated, then reached and squeezed his twin's arm. Zack looked up then, his face hopeful and sheepish.

"It's okay, Zack. I'm sorry I got all defensive myself back there too." Cody offered him a small smile and was gratified when his sibling returned it.

"Me too."

There was a moment's silence.

"Zack?" The said person looked up and Cody had to suck in a deep breath before he could continue. "I just…I'm sorry. I know I should probably just tell you. I mean, why I wanted us together for this assignment. And I-"

Zack cut in. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Cody."

Cody shook his head. "No, I do want to. There're a few reasons, I guess. What's with everything that happened yesterday, I just thought-"

A new voice interrupted their conversation.

"Hey Zack, hey Cody!" London waved at them, a cheerful grin on her sharp features. Bailey stood beside her, shooting Cody an apologetic glance.

"Hey London," Zack greeted, a bit too cheerful.

London touched her hair delicately. "I heard about what happened yesterday! I can't believe" – she gave Bailey an accusing glare – "none of you called me to tell me!"

"About what?"

London rolled her eyes. "About the accident, of course!"

Cody stared at Bailey. He mouthed, _you told her?_

Bailey shook her head and answered, _Woody_.

Cody pinched the bridge of his nose. Great. Exactly what they needed right now.

"You know about the accident?" Zack asked, his face blank.

London waved the question away dismissively. "Like that would escape me." She looked him up and down. "Huh, can't blame the driver though. I mean, he probably saw you wearing something like _that_ and couldn't help but try to run you over!"

"London…" Bailey tugged at her arm in warning.

"What? It's true! Can't you _see_ what he's wearing?" London pointed at Zack's outfit and laughed.

Zack's facial features darkened. He stood up. "Wow, thanks, London," he began, putting in extra effort to pepper his words with sarcasm. "Next time, I'll be sure to stand in _front_ of the car and not move so he wouldn't waste his efforts by missing and killing _somebody else_ in the process."

The three seemed taken aback by the venom in his words.

A strange look appeared on London's face. "I mean, of course we're happy you're alive and kicking. Just warning you how to avoid future accid-"

Bailey drove an elbow into her side and she shrieked. London whipped round to protest but quieted at her friend's warning look.

A thought occurred to Cody. "Wait, you mean, you didn't cause the car to crash?" His eyes widened the moment the words escaped his mouth, realizing too late how his sibling would take it.

Zack jerked his head towards his brother, disbelief dominating his eyes. "What?"

Cody tried to backpedal his way out of it. He shook his hands wildly. "No! I mean, that came out all wrong. I didn't mean that you _caused_ caused it, but that you were uh…I mean-"

By then, Zack's blue eyes had grown ice cold. "Yeah, I get it, Cody. I understand," he deadpanned. "All of you think it was my fault."

Bailey looked horrified. "No! Of course not!"

"Well," London began but Cody shot her a withering glare. Couldn't she see how riled up Zack was?

"Zack, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Zack burst out. He swallowed and clenched his eyes shut for a moment. "None of you ever take more than a damned _second_ before pinning the blame on me. Every time! So why should this be any different?" He started to back away from them.

Cody reached out to him but he slapped the hand away. A wild look gleamed in his eyes, a strange mixture of anger, defiance, and what Cody thought to be hints of guilt.

He glowered at Cody. "Maybe I _should_ have died back there. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this crap."

Cody let out an inaudible noise. "Shut up, Zack," he snapped.

Zack scoffed. "Or what? You'd throw me in front of a car?"

Cody looked frustrated. "What is _wrong_ with you? You didn't do it, alright? We get it!"

"No, you don't! I-" Zack stopped but then continued, his voice low, "You know what? I don't even want to talk to you anymore."

Cody sucked in a deep, steadying breath. His brother probably was stressed out. That must be it.

"Come on, both of you." Bailey shot the twins pleading looks. "We shouldn't be fighting over this. And, Zack, don't talk like that. You should be grateful you're okay."

Zack shoved a fisted hand at his hair in frustration. "Grateful?" he repeated. "Why should I be _grateful_?" His leg hit the side of a desk and he stopped himself from backing away any further.

London seemed confused. "Why wouldn't you be?"

"_Because it should have been me!_" Zack practically screamed at them then. "I shouldn't be standing here! Talking, walking, _breathing_. Why don't you get it? I shouldn't be alive!" The end seemed almost pained.

Cody, Bailey and London stared at him, stunned.

Zack breathed heavily, and the energy that had coursed through his veins moments ago deserted him. His shoulders slumped. "You don't know how much I wish it was me," he whispered.

He met his brother's eye. "It was my time to go."

And Zack promptly ran from the room.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"_The problem with surviving was that you ended up with the ghosts of everyone you'd ever left behind riding on your shoulders." – Paolo Bacigalupi, The Drowned Cities_

~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it. :)

Replies:

To **purple909**: Thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked the Chapter 3. :) I know how you feel. There just is too little fics on Zack and Cody, and most of the ones I read are quite predictable, though I love to read them all the same. You don't know how much I loved _your_ review. I hope you like this chapter. It's nothing much, but I hope it's not too boring. :)

To **owlhero**: Thanks for reviewing again! I hope you didn't wait too long for this one. Noted and I hope I didn't have the thoughts of the characters mixed up and confused here. When you're the writer, and you know what you're writing, you tend to not realize if anything is confusing since it's all so clear to you. Thank you for pointing my mistake out! I really appreciate it. :)

I always wondered how Cody would react with Zack if something happened to Zack. The show doesn't exactly show him to be prone to separation anxiety as much as Zack is. Cruel it is, but I hope the accident didn't put you off from reading!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

To **serpent**: Thanks for your review! Hope you liked this chapter! :)

To **Slinky Flower the Lovatic**: Thanks for reviewing! Sorry for the very late update. :(

To **flufflekinz8188**: Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad I managed to create the impression that something tragic had happened to Zack successfully. Though I would never hurt Zack that way (I hope). Your review made me so happy. *dabs at eyes*

I'm sorry, but I'm kind of confused here. Conscientiousness? I went back to my fic and tried to see if I mistook conscientiousness for consciousness, or if I misspelt it, but I can't locate any anywhere. Where was my mistake?

Anyway, I really hope you like this chapter! :D

To **lozmcdoz**: Thank you for reviewing! Hoped you like this chapter!

To **the-lovely-anomaly**: Thank you for your review! :) I truly appreciate it. Notes taken! I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. A major part of my writing flaws comes from the characters being OOC. I did try to keep them true to themselves here. What do you think?

Thanks again for taking the time to help me improve. I hope you liked this chapter.

Cheers.

To **Zackster**: Thank you for reviewing! I'm sorry I updated so late. Hope you liked this chapter!

To **Narnia's Princess**: Thanks for the review! I know. I just melt at brotherly love. Glad to know I'm not the only one. :) Hope you liked this chapter.

Well…if it isn't too much, could I get **12** reviews before I update next please? Feel free to offer constructive criticism. :)

Thank you!


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